My family is personally financing the next Mercedes purchase of some Saudi prince’s nephew’s brother. We are of the evil minions who don’t own a hybrid or an electric car. We routinely split our children between two vehicles on our way to church. We take up two spaces at the restaurant. We are always waiting on each other. We often caravan on routes we know well.
We take two cars.
Why do we take two cars?
If you share life with a funeral director, you know exactly why…There is no such thing as “be right back.”
I will not be stranded somewhere. Nor will I NOT go somewhere because I could be stranded somewhere.
I have enjoyed the end of many church services alone. I have finished dinner in restaurants with my children and packed a doggy box with a full meal. I usually grocery shop without my funeral director. I snap photos and applaud at school programs as my funeral director sneaks out the back.
But in every single case, I have my own wheels because when he is on call, it is inevitable that he will get a call when we are out together without them.
Even before this habit became routine, I learned a very valuable lesson from the experiences of my husband’s aunt who is married to an OBY-GYN. She tells great stories about shopping at the mall with the whole family only to discover that her doctor would “be right back” with their car after he delivered Mrs. Smith’s fifth child.
She recounted waiting outside church with three kids in tow, declining rides from friends because her doctor had to check on someone at the hospital “really quick” during communion and he’d “be right back.”
She reminisced about his penchant for always saying “be right back.” It’s kind of like some people saying “two weeks” or “maybe tomorrow” or “I only had one.” Be right back, for someone who is on call, is the kiss of death.
So, despite my naughty-badge from environmentalists everywhere, we take two cars pretty much everywhere we go. And if you’re spending life with a funeral director…you should too.
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